They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself (Andy Warhol)

Says it all really

Indigestion

Blame it on the spring, blame it on the sunshine, but I feel incredibly positive. I feel like someone has given me a new pair of glasses to look at life with, and unloaded a massive weight from my back. It's a sort of buzz. A joyous humming from deep inside me and that gives me a lot of hope, courage and eagerness to get on with life.
One of the key things I have learned through the past couple of months and especially my break up, is that I have been for too long a swallower, not a digester. I mean that all my life, I have just taken whatever came my way, without analysing it much, thinking about it much, critizising it. I just swallowed everything whole. If a new relationship came up, I would just keep going at it until somehow it reached a breaking point where something deeper and more meaningful from me was needed. All the jobs I have had, came to me by chance. I have drifted through life "accidentally" without dwelving too deep into things, without trusting myself to change things pro-actively. I am not say things happening by chance are a bad thing, au contraire, but there is a part of you that needs a captain to steer the ship, it can't all be steered by currents that happen to be under the boat (if you follow my beautiful metaphorical life imagery).
And now, I have a reached a stage where I can say "STOOOOP!". Stop and think.
And it means I can start learning to think about things differently. Instead of "I hate my job, I am going to leave" it's now "there are things in my job I don't like, what concrete steps do I need to take to change them?". Instead of "Hmm this relationship does not feel right, not sure what to do" it's "Let's discuss together our relationship as something is bugging me". Seems obvious right? But for me it's new.
Right now I feel like standing on top a hill and yelling "I want to seize the world of opportunities out there! Bring it on!".

Enough introspective Evie-ism for today, I think I need to go and search the world of opportunities in my bed now (note, I am talking about sleep only here!) (at least for night, heheh).

Why so sad?

A few weeks ago the music stopped playing and life came to a bit of a halt. The relationship I had desperately been clinging on to was suddenly over. For some reason, it came as a huge surprise. After all, it had felt so right.
Or had it?
With the benefit of hindsight, I realise there were some warning signs that may have been big fat glaring giveaways. Such as:
- he avoided the subject of moving in together
- I was always the one accommodating him, never the other way round
- he never told me he loved me
- and my favorite: each time I went to his house my stomach ached (talk of bad gut feeling..)
The list goes on and on. I would list them all here (I have it written down you see) but I don't dare come clean and show here how much in denial I have been. Maybe later.

I survived the past few weeks thanks to a few precious life buoys:
- My friends
- A manic workload which kept me busy
- A book anyone over the age of 15 may have problems admitting having read, but what the hell, I can't go much lower than this: "It's called a break up because it's broken". Thank you dear authors for this god's gift to the broken hearted.

But this is not a blog about the break up. The plan is to let water flow under the bridge. Although between now and the 3rd of May (semi random date), I am allowed to give in to wallowing in a bit (or a lot) of sadness, expressing masses of cynicism, and smoking copious amounts of cigarettes. After the 3rd of May, operation What Hasn't Killed Me Made Me Stronger will launch, and my already pretty awesome life can resume.

Introductions

Where to begin?
This is the story of a girl.
Quite a few moons ago, she moved to Hong Kong.
She had arrived in the land of the fragrant harbour a bit confused, a bit shaken up by her break up with Le Poulet, and a bit overwhelmed by her new job and new life. You can read about her life here.
It was a good life, she socialised, she proved to herself what she could achieve, she met lots of dubious men.
Courtesy of the credit crunch, she lost her job, but in its stead she found a new man and a new job back in London. She settled in, and rebuilt a new life.
Evie being Evie, nothing went smoothly or according to plan. This is the story of that life, in constant revolution. (given her name is Evie, this blog is called Tales of r-Evie-lution, see what we did here?).