Why so sad?

A few weeks ago the music stopped playing and life came to a bit of a halt. The relationship I had desperately been clinging on to was suddenly over. For some reason, it came as a huge surprise. After all, it had felt so right.
Or had it?
With the benefit of hindsight, I realise there were some warning signs that may have been big fat glaring giveaways. Such as:
- he avoided the subject of moving in together
- I was always the one accommodating him, never the other way round
- he never told me he loved me
- and my favorite: each time I went to his house my stomach ached (talk of bad gut feeling..)
The list goes on and on. I would list them all here (I have it written down you see) but I don't dare come clean and show here how much in denial I have been. Maybe later.

I survived the past few weeks thanks to a few precious life buoys:
- My friends
- A manic workload which kept me busy
- A book anyone over the age of 15 may have problems admitting having read, but what the hell, I can't go much lower than this: "It's called a break up because it's broken". Thank you dear authors for this god's gift to the broken hearted.

But this is not a blog about the break up. The plan is to let water flow under the bridge. Although between now and the 3rd of May (semi random date), I am allowed to give in to wallowing in a bit (or a lot) of sadness, expressing masses of cynicism, and smoking copious amounts of cigarettes. After the 3rd of May, operation What Hasn't Killed Me Made Me Stronger will launch, and my already pretty awesome life can resume.