Indigestion

Blame it on the spring, blame it on the sunshine, but I feel incredibly positive. I feel like someone has given me a new pair of glasses to look at life with, and unloaded a massive weight from my back. It's a sort of buzz. A joyous humming from deep inside me and that gives me a lot of hope, courage and eagerness to get on with life.
One of the key things I have learned through the past couple of months and especially my break up, is that I have been for too long a swallower, not a digester. I mean that all my life, I have just taken whatever came my way, without analysing it much, thinking about it much, critizising it. I just swallowed everything whole. If a new relationship came up, I would just keep going at it until somehow it reached a breaking point where something deeper and more meaningful from me was needed. All the jobs I have had, came to me by chance. I have drifted through life "accidentally" without dwelving too deep into things, without trusting myself to change things pro-actively. I am not say things happening by chance are a bad thing, au contraire, but there is a part of you that needs a captain to steer the ship, it can't all be steered by currents that happen to be under the boat (if you follow my beautiful metaphorical life imagery).
And now, I have a reached a stage where I can say "STOOOOP!". Stop and think.
And it means I can start learning to think about things differently. Instead of "I hate my job, I am going to leave" it's now "there are things in my job I don't like, what concrete steps do I need to take to change them?". Instead of "Hmm this relationship does not feel right, not sure what to do" it's "Let's discuss together our relationship as something is bugging me". Seems obvious right? But for me it's new.
Right now I feel like standing on top a hill and yelling "I want to seize the world of opportunities out there! Bring it on!".

Enough introspective Evie-ism for today, I think I need to go and search the world of opportunities in my bed now (note, I am talking about sleep only here!) (at least for night, heheh).